5:45

IT IS 5:45PM AND IT IS TIME FOR ME TO MEET ONE OF MY GOOD FRIENDS. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A COCKTAIL, CATCH UP ON OUR LIVES AND TALK ABOUT POLITICS, FASHION, MEN, FASHION, MEN, POLITICS, MEN, FASHION, MEN, MEN AND MEN. WE ARE MEETING AT ONE OF MY FAVORITE PLACES. I HAVE A FEW. I APPLY MY LIPSTICK, BRUSH MY PONY TAIL, CLICK MY SHOES AND GET IN MY CAR. AS I GET TO THE PLACE, I NOTICE THE STREET IS EMPTY. THE TOWN IS EMPTY LIKE A GHOST TOWN FROM A WESTERN MOVIE. THERE ARE NO PEOPLE OR CARS AROUND AND IT FEELS CHILLY OUT. I HESITATE A MINUTE AND THEN PARK MY CAR IN A LOADING ZONE BUT I FIGURE IT IS NOT BEING USED SINCE IT IS ALMOST 6PM. I GO IN TO MEET MY FRIEND.

AFTER A COUPLE OF HOURS, WE KISS GOODBYE AND I WALK BACK TO MY CAR. AND THERE IT IS!!!!! IT IS ON THE WINDSHIELD OF MY CAR BRIGHT YELLOW AND SHINING LIKE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS . . . A F&$@%# PARKING TICKET! WHEN I SEE THE $42 LOADING ZONE PARKING TICKET, I THINK I LITERALLY SCREAMED IN MY MIND LIKE TARZAN IN THE JUNGLE!! I THOUGHT WHAT THE #%$&!!! I WISH I COULD HAVE SEEN THE PERSON WHO WROTE THE TICKET. I COULD HAVE MADE SUSHI OUT OF HIM!

I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS ABOUT PARKING TICKETS BUT I HATE THEM! I KNOW, I KNOW . . . I WAS TOO LAZY TO DRIVE HALF A BLOCK MORE TO AVOID PARKING IN A LOADING ZONE BUT I FELT LIKE NOBODY WAS AROUND. IT WAS LATE. IT WAS 5:45PM FOR CHRIST’S SAKE! WHERE DO THESE CREATURES COME FROM THAT THEY SUDDENLY COME OUT OF THE SHADOWS TO WRITE PARKING TICKETS? ARE THEY SKINNY THINGS HIDING BEHIND LIGHT POLES AND STREET SIGNS? I DID NOT SEE ANYONE BUT THEN BOOM. THEY COME OUT OF NOWHERE AND WRITE PARKING TICKETS.

IF I EVER HAVE TIME IN MY BUSY SCHEDULE, I WOULD LIKE TO WRITE THE MAYOR AND CITY COUNCIL TO ASK, “WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING TO US!? WHY ARE YOU MAKING IT SO DIFFICULT AND EXPENSIVE IN THIS PLACE TO FIND PARKING?” I KNOW THE CITY GETS REVENUE FROM THE PARKING METERS. IF I AM CORRECT, IT IS $1 MILLION. (DO NOT QUOTE ME!!) I THINK IF THEY MADE PARKING EASIER, PEOPLE WOULD COME DOWNTOWN MORE. THE RETAIL STORES AND RESTAURANTS WOULD DO MORE BUSINESS IF PEOPLE DID NOT HAVE TO GO TO SO MUCH TROUBLE AND EXPENSE TO PARK. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE EINSTEIN TO KNOW THE TAX REVENUE GENERATED FROM MORE BUSINESS WOULD EXCEED THE MONEY FROM THE PARKING METERS!

THERE IS SOMETHING PSYCHOLOGICAL ABOUT PAYING FOR PARKING THAT WE DO NOT LIKE. HERE WE ARE GOING TO A RESTAURANT NOT WANTING TO PAY $2/HR. FOR PARKING WHEN OUR RESTAURANT BILL WILL BE $50 OR $60. WHY DO WE DISLIKE IT SO MUCH? IT IS NOT EXACTLY DISLIKE. WE HATE SO MUCH TO PAY FOR PARKING?!!

I DO NOT KNOW WHY BUT I KNOW I AM NOT ALONE IN THIS. WE KNOW YOU HATE TO PAY FOR PARKING, TOO. SO HERE AT GOLER WHEN YOU COME TO SHOP WITH US, WE WILL PAY FOR YOUR PARKING IN THE LA CASA SENA LOT BEHIND THE STORE.

LARRY, THE OWNER OF DESIGN WAREHOUSE, ON HIS OWN TIME GOES AROUND COLLECTING MONEY FROM THE LOCAL STORES SO THAT FOR THE TWO WEEKS BEFORE CHRISTMAS, PARKING IS FREE FOR YOU. (THANK YOU, LARRY, FOR ALL YOUR HARD WORK!)

I THINK I AM GOING TO THERAPY ABOUT THIS. IN THE MEANWHILE, HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND COME TO GOLER! WE WILL PAY FOR YOUR PARKING WITH A PURCHASE . . . ANYTIME OF THE YEAR.