It Does Matter To Me

DURING THE MORNING OF SEPTEMBER 11, 2001, I WAS PACKING UP FOR MY TRIP TO ATLANTA.  I WAS VERY MUCH LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT TRIP.   I WAS ATTENDING A CEREMONY WHERE MY YEAR AS PRESIDENT OF THE EXECUTIVE WOMEN’S INTERNATIONAL (SANTA FE CHAPTER) CONCLUDED.  THIS EVENT WAS A SPECIAL CEREMONY WHERE ALL OF THE WOMEN WHO WERE PRESIDENTS OF THE ORGANIZATION FINISHED OUR TERM.  AS I GOT READY, I WAS WATCHING THE NEWS LIKE MILLIONS OF OTHERS AND WAS ASTONISHED AT WAS HAPPENING IN NEW YORK. NEEDLESS TO SAY, MY TRIP TO ATLANTA GOT CANCELLED.  I COULDN’T BELIEVE THAT IF MY FLIGHT HAD BEEN EARLIER, I WOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE AIR! JUST THE THOUGHT OF IT GAVE ME CHILLS…

A FEW MONTHS AFTER THAT INCIDENT, I NEEDED TO GO TO NEW YORK FOR BUSINESS BUT I FELT A STRONG FEAR OF FLYING, PARTICULARLY INTO NEW YORK.  I COULD HAVE CHOSEN NOT TO; I COULD HAVE CHOSEN TO GO TO ANOTHER TRADE SHOW, BUT I CHOSE NOT TO LET SOMEONE ELSE CHOOSE FOR ME.  I PROMISED I WOULD NOT LET FEAR STOP THE GROWTH OF MY STORE AND MYSELF; THEREFORE I ENDED UP IN NEW YORK.

THE DAY I WAS COMING BACK FROM NY TO ALBUQUERQUE WAS A SUNDAY MORNING.  MY FLIGHT WAS SCHEDULED FOR LATER IN THE AFTERNOON.  I GOT UP REALLY EARLY AND DECIDED TO VISIT GROUND ZERO IN DOWNTOWN MANHATTAN.  THE CITY WAS SLEEPY. I DON’T KNOW IF IT WAS BECAUSE IT WAS A SUNDAY MORNING OR BECAUSE THE CITY WAS STILL SAD FROM THE TRAGEDY THAT HAD HAPPENED.  IT FELT AS IF I WAS WALKING ALL ALONE IN THE CITY BUT I WAS SO DETERMINED TO GET THERE.  THE CLOSER I GOT TO GROUND ZERO I FELT MORE AND MORE LONELY AND ALONE.  I STOOD UP ON TOP LOOKING DOWN AT WHERE THE BUILDINGS ONCE STOOD, THINKING ABOUT THE HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE WHO HAD DIED IN A PLACE WHERE AT THAT MOMENT THERE WERE NO NATIONALITIES, NO RACE, NO SKIN COLORS.  THEY ALL WERE JUST PEOPLE.  INNOCENT PEOPLE WHOSE ONLY FAULT WAS BEING AT WORK.

WHAT WAS LEFT FROM THE BUILDING WAS A HUGE CRATER.  ALTHOUGH NOT A LOT OF TIME HAD PASSED BY SINCE THE ATTACK, THEY HAD ALREADY CLEANED IT ALL OUT.  THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT THERE EXCEPT THE FEELING OF SADNESS.  TIME QUICKLY SLIPPED UNDER MY SHOES (MY PRETTY SHOES).  I STARTED MY RETURN TO THE HOTEL FEELING THE BIG CRATER IN MY SOUL. HOW COULD YOU NOT FEEL LIKE CRYING?……SO I DID CRY, FOR ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE DIED AND FOR ALL OF THE PEOPLE WHO WERE LEFT IN THE WORLD FEELING THE INJUSTICE OF HUMANITY.   I FELT AND LOOKED LIKE “LA LLORONA (A LEGENDARY HISPANIC CHARACTER WHO LOST HER CHILDREN AND WHO THEN SPEND HER LIFE MOURNING FOR THEM) I DRAGGED MY FEET… WITH MY PRETTY SHOES THROUGH THE CITY, BACK TO THE HOTEL.  THE TEARS IN MY EYES HAD CAUSED MY MAKEUP TO RUN DOWN MY CHEEKS.

BEFORE 9/11 I HAD BECOME MORE POLITICALLY CONSCIOUS AND I HAD DECIDED TO BECOME A CITIZEN OF THE UNITED STATES. I DID IT BECAUSE HAVING THE PRIVILEGE TO VOTE DOES MATTER TO ME.  I CHOSE TO NOT LET SOMEONE ELSE CHOOSE FOR ME.  I WANT TO FEEL MY OWN POWER BY VOTING.  THE WOMEN WHO FOUGHT FOR ME TO HAVE THE RIGHT TO VOTE DESERVE THAT I EXERCISE WHAT THEY FOUGHT FOR.

I WANT TO VOTE FOR A LEADER WHO WILL PROVIDE US WITH PEACE.  WHAT IS PEACE TO ME?  PEACE CONTAINS MANY IDEAS: PROGRESS, RESPECT, LOVE, COMMUNICATION, LOYALTY, AWARENESS, CARE, INTELLIGENCE, CONSIDERATION, FUTURE….  JUST LIKE THAT DAY BACK IN SEPTEMBER 11, 2001 ALL OF THIS DOES MATTER TO ME.

PLEASE SEND ME YOUR THOUGHTS, YOU CAN ALWAYS EMAIL ME AT GUADA755@OUTLOOK.COM