It’s a hot day in Santa Fe and, of course, I’m at home taking care of “stuff”. You know the “stuff” I’m talking about. It is my least favorite thing to do in life but sooner or later it needs to be done.
One of things on my “stuff” list that I needed to do was call DirectTV to fix a technical problem on my TV. I had to make sure I set aside a good chunk of time to do this phone call. I did know that. It always takes me a bit to figure out WHICH number to call first! Ring, ring, ring. Somebody answers literally, on the other side of the world. Holaaa? Hello? ¿Cómo está? Bonjour? I tried to identify her (his?) accent. I’m sure the person in the other part of the world was doing the same with me. “Where is this woman with such a strong accent from?!” I say, “There is no image on the TV.” “What, what?” I ask. “You are saying my TV is old? My TV is absolutely not old” I retort. Then she responds confusedly to me, “Your TV is BOLD?” “No, no” I repeat. “It’s not OLD.” She continues, “BOLD?”
I start losing my patience … By then I had already been on the phone for 45 minutes… She had started off way too elaborate. ”Thank you for being a loyal customer for 30 years Guadalupe. My name is bla bla. How are you doing today?” “OK, OK ,OK ,OK, OK, yes, yes,” I respond, trying to be kind, knowing the person continents away is just trying to do her job. “My day is going well. Thank you for asking. Can we please move on?” I beg. .. “I need to move on please!”
Her voice lit up as she thought she figured out right away what she was going to help me with. “You are MOVING?! Do you need to change the address of your service? I can do that for you!”
“NOPE, that’s not it.” I went ahead and told her/him in my clearest English, “My TV does not have an image!” I thought if this is going to be challenging, then maybe I should get me a Tequila although it’s only 9:00 AM…Just kidding, you get the picture!
Here we are. Two human beings in different parts of the world trying to survive in this melting pot of cultures and languages and we are just trying to fix a TV, over the phone, from thousands of miles away. After another 20 minutes of back and forth and trying to understand one another’s accents, we are almost yelling at each other. It’s a mistake to believe that if you talk louder people will understand you better. Yet we all do it. Think about it. Still, that’s not how it works. He/she shouts at me, directing me to unplug the TV. I freak out. I don’t know where the cord to my TV is. How does it even function?! “You don’t understand!” I tell her. “How am I going to do that?!”
She/he was starting to get impatient. “It’s a button on the TV. Press THE BUTTON, bla bla bla bla for 15 seconds.” I was so confused. What button was she/he talking about??
I asked, “Do you mean the red button at the left side?” She questioned, “Sad? Who is sad?” The SIIIIIIIDE!
By now the idea of having a tequila doesn’t sound unreasonable. She/he puts me on hold. I try to calm the little girl inside of me who wants to throw a tantrum and I tell her, “I know you can do this.”
Remarkably, we ended up fixing the bold and sad TV!!!!!
Can you share some of your confusions with me? Please write to me at my personal email: – GUADALUPEJ4K@GMAIL.COM.