Love at first sight. It does happen. It happened to Brenda and Charles. Love hit them like a truck. He fell in love with her curly wild hair and her contagious laugh. She fell in love with his dark eyes and his kindness. Everything was going happily and smoothly. Life could not be any better.
The news of having another baby did not come as a surprise. Their first child was easy breezy. But even all the love in the world does not prepare them for the unexpected news about their second child. Claire arrived on this planet with a lot of physical challenges (Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder along with ADHD and as well with behavioral). She was born with depression, anxiety and is very restless. Sometimes she is even violent. Is it because she does not want to be on this planet? Or just because? Let us not question her. She is who she is . . . period! Her diagnosis is so hard for me to pronounce. It is easier for me to try to say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
One afternoon at the store I met Brenda. It was like we had known each other from a long time. She very openly and lovingly shared her story about her daughter, Claire. Brenda was in Santa Fe having a small, much needed vacation by herself. She takes care of her daughter all the time and has not been able to spend time indulging herself or simply having time to do NOTHING ☺
Her story was intriguing to me. How do parents cope with situations like this? I can almost say that I do not think I could take care of a child with special needs. Seeing your daughter in that situation would break the heart of any parent.
Fortunately for me Brenda came in through the DOOR at Goler and she opened a DOOR for me to enter into the amazing, intriguing world of people with Autism or Special Needs. My understanding about this behavior is limited and inadequate.
She admitted to me that it has been years of struggle emotionally, physically and financially. But Charles, her husband, and her are determined to keep the family as normal as possible. Taking into consideration that their daughter cannot be left alone makes it a 24/7 or you should say 365/12 job for the REST of their life. . . .UHHHHHGG! So hard!
It makes me claustrophobic to think that you would completely lose your freedom. The only explanation I can think of is that God, the Universe or a Higher Power, whatever we want to call it, gives us strength that we did not think we are capable of. They put one foot in front of the other every day and live their life.
SO, she gave herself a vacation in Santa Fe. We meet tourists every day and we do not know their story. That is my favorite part of the store, getting to know the people who come through our doors. Little did she know that her story almost brought me to tears but looking at her calm demeanor, I kept my composure. Her contagious laugh was an inspiration. She patiently fulfilled my curiosity about their life.
I do not know why but in the last month the world of people with Autism and disabilities has manifested so much in my life. One thing I do know is that Brenda and Claire will always be in my heart in addition to all the people, parents and relatives that have a special needs person in their lives who they are loving and caring for.